Wedding Committees- The good, the bad and the ugly

Be wise when selecting who should join your wedding committee. They can either make or break your wedding day!Photo by Abrill Bell. Photo courtesy of sxc.hu

Wedding committees have been around long before wedding planners with their fancy checklists and timelines, long before wedding themes, long before seat covers and tiebacks! We often spot them locally in restaurants, seated at a corner discussing about wedding cake and wedding invitations, and it may come as a surprise to most that most members of the wedding committee are actually male!

So where did this whole concept of the wedding committee originate from? Well, I googled, and googled and there is nothing much that can help me trace the origins of the wedding committee, actually there is  practically nothing on wedding committees online, and it came to my surprise that Wedding committees are a fairly unheard of concept in the developed world. This is because a lot of the wedding planning and  co-ordination is handled by wedding planning companies .

So am writing this article backed by no online research but armed with a lot of lessons and observations that I have learnt and made while dealing with wedding planning committees, when planning weddings.

It all began with a group of friends:

Well, I think the wedding committee began with a group of friends, coming together to assist their buddies walk down the aisle hassle free. Then with time the wedding committee evolved to them  being part and parcel of every little wedding detail i.e. from choosing service providers, to fundraising for the wedding. Nowadays  wedding committees are formed for a variety of reasons , and  are a common feature In a lot of Kenyan weddings.

Why do you need a committee?

Wedding committees are needed for the following reason.

For the bride and groom who cannot afford to secure the services of a professional wedding planner. Wedding committees are the way to go! They are formed to assist the couple in making wedding decisions, selecting service providers, fundraising and doing all the running around on the wedding day.

Wedding committees are also formed as a board of advisors for the couple. If a committee is made up of married people, their experience can be used as advise for the bride and the groom when it comes to any wedding planning issues that might actually crop up.

Who should be in the wedding committee?

The wedding committee is made up of friends of the couple and relatives. Before selecting members of your committee, it is important to state down a few qualities that you would need them to have, remember this individuals are responsible for your wedding day. Choose friends who are reliable, trustworthy, helpful, hardworking, ethical and can work well in a team.

Avoid choosing fair weather friends, or friends who have their own hidden agenda's.

What are the pro's  & con's of having a wedding committee?

The largest pro of having a wedding committee is having the support of your friends and family during this special time in your life as a couple. Having your friends to emotionally share your burden, can be quite comforting. For the couple on a budget one of the largest pro's of having a wedding committee is that it cuts down on costs e.g. hiring a full time wedding planner, the committee can also help you fund raise by establishing a wedding kitty.

The cons of having a wedding committee are failure of delivery. Time and time again wedding committee members have been known to overpromise and under deliver, some members may not even show up on wedding day. This depends on the people you choose to be part of your wedding committee, it is always advisable that should you decide to go for a wedding committee hire some professional help to assist In your wedding co-ordination to act as a safety buffer. Wedding planning companies often offer wedding day co-ordination services.

Another con to having the wedding committee, your wedding committee may lack expertise. Your committee may lack the expertise needed when making key wedding decisions e.g. choosing wedding service providers. This could result in a lot of wedding mishaps. To avoid this you can do your own personal research on wedding planning, or before planning your wedding you can have a wedding planner have a professional consultancy with you to aid you in your wedding planning.

Wedding Committee Etiquette tips:

Always clearly state the purpose of forming  your  wedding committee  to all your friends who you think will be comfortable in joining it. You could form the wedding committee either to get assistance in selecting wedding service providers , to help in the wedding day running around or to contribute to your wedding kitty. Ensure that all your would be committee members are clearly aware of what is expected of them.

Always appoint a chair for your wedding committee, a leader who will be incharge of all the members and who will ensure that the goals and the purposes of the wedding committee are being met. It is always advisable for the couple to chose whomever they feel comfortable with and who they think has their best interest at heart.

When working with a wedding planner always ensure that there is a mutual understanding between the wedding planner and the wedding committee. Issues often arise when either party undermines the role that the other has to play in the wedding. Ensure that you have worked out a way of incorporating the wedding committee into your wedding planning and co-ordination with professional guidance from the wedding planner. It is always advisable if from the start you state clear roles that are to be executed by either party.

Keep records, of all meetings held, always make appoint of having minutes of meetings held , action points and duty responsibilities, this ensures accountability within the wedding committee. Ensure that all necessary information is circulated in time, in a medium accessible to everyone. Is your wedding committee e-savvy, you can open a Facebook page and have everyone meet online, it saves  time and money!

Say thank you!  After the wedding make a point to say thank you to all your wedding committee members. Send them a thank you card, email, call them up or even have your first barbeque as Mr & Mrs dedicated to them.

Have your wedding committee meetings, set at a time that will be suitable for all your wedding committee meetings, you can meet once fortnightly, or at an agreed time. As a couple make sure that your agenda is set before the meeting and is executed.